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Post by o R 0 G U E o on Jul 13, 2012 9:22:11 GMT
Bloke buys a scouse parrot but gets sick of it saying, "I'm from liverpool." and "I'm hard as nails" so he puts a kestrel in its cage. Next morning, he finds the kestrel dead, and the parrot says, "I'm from liverpool and I'm hard as nails " So the bloke puts a golden eagle in the cage. Next morning he finds the eagle dead and the parrot with no feathers. As he looks in the cage, the parrot says, "Had to take me coat off for that fucker."
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Post by Maxx Reloaded on Jul 14, 2012 17:35:26 GMT
Like that joke, made me chuckle
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Post by Biscitt on Jul 23, 2012 18:52:51 GMT
Very good.  |
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Post by Cpt Bartholomew on Jul 24, 2012 9:31:13 GMT
The top 10 Edinburgh Fringe festival funnies from last year:
1) Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
4) Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..."
5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
6) Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."
7) Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."
8) Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."
9) Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."
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