Post by Acksaw on Sept 23, 2006 14:16:33 GMT
Back in the year 1983 it was a glorious day for I was an 11 year old with a pocket full of money and being escorted by my parents to the local branch of Currys. We were on a mission to buy something called a home computer – the latest technology to hit the high street. My previous experience had been a few dabblings with a BBC Micro computer at school, the machine was anything but micro. Anyway the purchase was made and we hurriedly returned home to set the box of magic into action. The instructions were relatively simple to follow; power cable, RF cable to the telly and cables to connect a tape recorder! Once fired up we were greeted with a Sinclair copyright logo and a flashing cursor. This was mighty impressive, you could type letters on the rubbery keyboard and they would appear on your TV screen, however pressing ‘Enter’ would result in the response ‘SYNTAX ERROR’.
The impossibly small machine sat on the floor in front of me was called a ZX Spectrum. Invented by the flawed genius that is Sir Clive Sinclair, this was the first machine to bring gaming to the home for many. Parents bought these machines for their children as it was obvious that computers would play a big part in their future. Oh if only they knew what they were about to start, my parents would have surely left it on the shelf.
Following more instruction reading it was found that we could load up programs into the computers 48k memory through the cassette player by typing LOAD””. After a wait that seemed like eternity but was in reality only 10 minutes of an obscure screeching noise and flashing on screen my first home gaming experience was born. You were a spaceman jetting from platform to platform to pick up pieces of a spaceship and assemble. Sounds easy? Well there were of course the obligatory alien invaders each different type with it’s own attack pattern, all of which were displayed in the Spectrums glorious 8 colours. There was an interesting phenomenon with the ZX Spectrum in that if any more than two colours were displayed next to each other they would leach across, this was affectionately known as ‘colour clash’.
Jetpac was simple and addictive, it challenged your dexterity, it made you curse, it made you sweat. Sublime gaming, I was hooked on games instantly and have been until this day trying to outwit my foes and adversaries. The enemy initially was controlled by A.I. some of it really stupid and some of it surprisingly clever or even merciless. Nowadays my opposition is cleverer than ever for they are real people (mostly) all over the world, all trying to beat each other.
I had always thought that I had gaming reactions faster than the blink of an eye, indeed maybe I even did in those heady days of Jetpac. However since my online gaming escapades, which started on the original Xbox I have been proved hideously wrong! In the big scheme of world-wide gaming it has been shown without doubt that my reactions have slowed to an almost sloth like pace. I’m going for the kill against some youngster on Halo, I’ve been stuck by a plasma grenade, melee attacked into the dust, blown 30 ft high by a rocket launcher and had some virtual pre-pubescent doing squat-thrusts over my dead body before I’ve even pulled the trigger! This is the same with any game be it driving, stealthing, shooting or more shooting; Acksaw ends up at the bottom of the pile.
All was lost or so I thought, I was to be forever mocked by those several times younger than me but then a solution arrived:
Clan Blueblood: An old clan for old people. Only those above the ripe old age of 30 qualify for this elite band of no-hopers. The playing field has been levelled ladies and gentlemen, no longer do you need to be outwitted by those just out of nappies. The glory days of Jetpac have returned, I can make that kill in Call of Duty, I can win the odd race in Testdrive and all because we all operate at ‘sloth speed’. Where once I was a rotting corpse at the bottom of the Halo 2 kill tables I have now been elevated to the God-like status of ‘also-ran’. I can hold my own at being rubbish along with the best of them.
Of most importance is the comradeship, the ability to laugh at ourselves and at each other when our incompetence shines through. Betrayals during shooting games are a pre-requisite as are the odd suicides and occasionally the kill of an opposition reminds you of the skill you once had.
So put yourself back where you belong in the league of gaming, join Blueblood and adopt our motto: ‘Die Laughing’. Proudly emblazon your gaming avatar with a smiley to show your allegiance, register your GT here and prepare to join games of ineptness and mirth.
The impossibly small machine sat on the floor in front of me was called a ZX Spectrum. Invented by the flawed genius that is Sir Clive Sinclair, this was the first machine to bring gaming to the home for many. Parents bought these machines for their children as it was obvious that computers would play a big part in their future. Oh if only they knew what they were about to start, my parents would have surely left it on the shelf.
Following more instruction reading it was found that we could load up programs into the computers 48k memory through the cassette player by typing LOAD””. After a wait that seemed like eternity but was in reality only 10 minutes of an obscure screeching noise and flashing on screen my first home gaming experience was born. You were a spaceman jetting from platform to platform to pick up pieces of a spaceship and assemble. Sounds easy? Well there were of course the obligatory alien invaders each different type with it’s own attack pattern, all of which were displayed in the Spectrums glorious 8 colours. There was an interesting phenomenon with the ZX Spectrum in that if any more than two colours were displayed next to each other they would leach across, this was affectionately known as ‘colour clash’.
Jetpac was simple and addictive, it challenged your dexterity, it made you curse, it made you sweat. Sublime gaming, I was hooked on games instantly and have been until this day trying to outwit my foes and adversaries. The enemy initially was controlled by A.I. some of it really stupid and some of it surprisingly clever or even merciless. Nowadays my opposition is cleverer than ever for they are real people (mostly) all over the world, all trying to beat each other.
I had always thought that I had gaming reactions faster than the blink of an eye, indeed maybe I even did in those heady days of Jetpac. However since my online gaming escapades, which started on the original Xbox I have been proved hideously wrong! In the big scheme of world-wide gaming it has been shown without doubt that my reactions have slowed to an almost sloth like pace. I’m going for the kill against some youngster on Halo, I’ve been stuck by a plasma grenade, melee attacked into the dust, blown 30 ft high by a rocket launcher and had some virtual pre-pubescent doing squat-thrusts over my dead body before I’ve even pulled the trigger! This is the same with any game be it driving, stealthing, shooting or more shooting; Acksaw ends up at the bottom of the pile.
All was lost or so I thought, I was to be forever mocked by those several times younger than me but then a solution arrived:
Clan Blueblood: An old clan for old people. Only those above the ripe old age of 30 qualify for this elite band of no-hopers. The playing field has been levelled ladies and gentlemen, no longer do you need to be outwitted by those just out of nappies. The glory days of Jetpac have returned, I can make that kill in Call of Duty, I can win the odd race in Testdrive and all because we all operate at ‘sloth speed’. Where once I was a rotting corpse at the bottom of the Halo 2 kill tables I have now been elevated to the God-like status of ‘also-ran’. I can hold my own at being rubbish along with the best of them.
Of most importance is the comradeship, the ability to laugh at ourselves and at each other when our incompetence shines through. Betrayals during shooting games are a pre-requisite as are the odd suicides and occasionally the kill of an opposition reminds you of the skill you once had.
So put yourself back where you belong in the league of gaming, join Blueblood and adopt our motto: ‘Die Laughing’. Proudly emblazon your gaming avatar with a smiley to show your allegiance, register your GT here and prepare to join games of ineptness and mirth.
